Advice on How To Overcome Shyness

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Published under copyright by Loveawake Czech © Copyright 2010-2021. All rights reserved.

Though I get a lot of email from readers, until most recently, I’ve started getting emails asking for advice. I try to write people back and help as best I can. And since some of these questions may be applicable to the readers of this blog, I’ve decided to start posting some of them on the blog (with that person’s permission) along with my replies.

First, I want to make a little disclaimer. Though the title of this blog has the word “Pickup Artist” in it, that does not put me on the same level as the other top pickup artists in the world. I am not Mystery. I am not Neil Strauss. I am simply a writer trying to consistently increase my ability to attract women. So any advice I give is based on my own personal experience and knowledge. If you are looking for advice from a master PUA/reality star/NYT best selling author, than this is not the place.

With that out of the way I bring you a question about how to overcome shyness.

I’ve had a pretty crappy time these last couple of years but I’ve finally turned my life round (I’ve lost a load of weight, I have a great bunch of friends and I’m financially stable) however I’m still a shy “nice guy” and I can’t even seem to approach women, so I am now trying to sort out this part of my life out as well.

I’ve been reading and watching videos on pickup artists, however I’m not a guy who likes to go into clubs to get women and I’m not interested in picking up women just for sex.

Are there any good books or manuals out there which can help me talk to women in a natural environment (ie. in a shop or while walking on the street) and without using “routines.”

Also what do you think of Cory Skyy?

If you’re wondering about why I’m asking you, I just feel that I can relate to you and you also seem like a good person.

Hope you can help.  Thanks.

- J.

Hi J,

It’s good to hear that you are taking the steps to get this part of your life taken care of.  It’s definitely something that doesn’t happen overnight and takes a lot of baby steps to get to where you want to be.

You don’t need to go to clubs to meet women, in fact, I think clubs are one of the worst places to meet women.  Bars are pretty good, but only if you are comfortable in them and are good at socializing, but you don’t really need those either.

I think the key for shy nice guys such as yourself, is to join some sort of social group.  Whatever hobby or activity you have an interest in, find a local group dedicated to that thing and join it.  Participate, talk to the people, make friends and expand your social circle.  This helps you do a few things that is more difficult to learn at the bar scene:

  1. You can meet and talk to lots of women under the guise of a common interest, which is way better and easier than using canned openers and routines.
  2. It gives you a reason to practice your social skills and to help you break out of your shell and to overcoming shyness which will help you in future interactions with women.

So, joining some type of social group is my main recommendation for you.  I imagine you’ve already read enough of the pickup fundamentals that all you really need to do is to start practicing this stuff in real life.

However, if I did have to recommend some material or a guru that fits your personality type, I’d say you’d be best suited to go with AFC Adam Lyons from PUA Training.  His concepts on social circle game would be right up your alley and mesh nicely with my advice on joining a social group.  He certainly has some great tips on how to overcome shyness.

I haven’t read much of Cory Skyy‘s stuff, but he does have a unique interesting method based on eye seduction.  I could see where the ability to have women approach you through eye contact alone is an alluring concept but I feel like this method is mostly conducive to the bar/club environment.

Anyways, hope that was of some help for you and would be curious to know how things go in the future.


- Matt Savage

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